How many times have you woken up and just known you were going to have a miserable day, and did? Or gone somewhere, knowing you'd have a terrible time and low and behold, you did? Whether or nor you're aware of it, you decided beforehand what type of experience you would have and, guess what, you got what you asked for!

Well, I've got news for you. You personally had a hand in creating those experiences, and yes my friends, we can and do create our reality. If, in the morning we wake up to cloudy skies and crowded freeways, but still decide that we are going to have a great day, the likelihood of manifesting one is strong. Be aware that we are making choices constantly. Not to decide is a choice and we must take ownership of our decisions and be responsible for them.

If you don't like the direction your is life moving toward then you might want to look inward at the choices you are making and possibly change your outlook, thereby changing your choices. Who we are now, and what we really want out of life today, is always the result of our lives' programming - the influences - that have come from our past. Self-Talk is a method we can use to consciously create strong new self-directed programs in our own subconscious minds. Earlier negative mental programs can be overridden and replaced with new programs that create better attitudes, better actions and better results. It works the same way the brain was programmed in the first place - but now we are in charge of the "input". Who we think we are and what we think we want are always the result of the programming we received from the world around us or from ourselves. Choose to make better choices. Change is good - sometimes scary, very scary - but without change we cannot learn our lessons, nor assist others in learning theirs. If you are truly interested in having more control of the direction your life is going by making better choices I highly recommend reading the book Choices by Shad Helmstetter. It's an awe-inspiring book and on my personal "Top 10 " list!

Realize that those you interact with will mirror your behavior without being aware of it. If you've decided you're going to have a dismal day know that there are many people out there who are more than willing to oblige you to help you create your reality (no matter how hellish you desire it). Talk gruffly, demanding or rudely to others and more often than not you'll get it back ten fold. What you throw out you will get back in return, so if you can't take it don't dish it out!

I notice that people (myself included, with emphasis) do not listen enough to each other. When someone begins talking to another and feels they have something vitally important to share and all that happens is they are ignored, or worse, another subject is brought up, it can be a very painful experience. It can make one feel small and insignificant, and if it occurs on a regular basis, lead to feelings of low self-esteem. Oftentimes people just want to know they have been heard and that another understands how they feel; that someone gives a damn. I say we all need to make the choice and really listen to one another.

Active listening ("AL" for short) can assist in opening lines of communication and breaking down barriers between individuals. By utilizing active listening we can avert many conflicts between individuals. Active listening entails feeling and communicating a genuine acceptance of one another in order to foster relationships in which we can grow, learn to problem solve, become more productive, creative, and yes, even balance our psychological health. A set of basic attitudes are required to be effective at "AL". We must want to hear what an individual has to say by being willing to take the time to listen. We must sincerely want to be helpful and be able to accept another's feelings, whatever they may be or how ever different they may be from our own feelings, or what we think they "should" feel. We must trust one another with each others ability to problem solve.

Don't assume you know what someone else needs. Our society as a whole, possibly the entire Earth (my own personal opinion so if you don't agree tough) is so anal retentive that we really don't communicate when we speak. Oh, sure we talk, but not only don't we listen, we don't convey what we really mean, want, or usually feel. When utilizing "AL" we must put aside using our own thoughts and feelings (become selfless, not selfish) in order to attend exclusively to whomever is speaking. It will force accurate receiving of the intended message (which may be totally different from what is being said.) To understand how another person thinks or feels from his point of view is to place ourselves momentarily in his shoes. In doing so we will (guaranteed) run the risk of having our own opinions and attitudes changed. We must learn to be flexible. . .Change is good!