by Jonathan Zap
2003
from
Alignment2012 Website
Theory and
Authentic First Hand Narratives of Encounters with Mind
Parasites and Vampires |
The Sick
Rose
O rose thou art sick.
The invisible worm.
That flies in the night
In the howling storm.
Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy,
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy.
—William Blake
from
Songs of Innocence and Experience, Plate 37
"Mind Parasites”
has a fanciful sound to it like the confabulation of an overwrought,
paranoid imagination. The term was coined by scholar of the occult
Colin Wilson in his science fiction novel of ideas entitled
The Mind Parasites written in 1967. And the novel is
alternately fascinating and silly, spinning out of control with
overcaffinated egomania, much of the “science” in the science
fiction absurd to anyone who didn’t sleep through their high school
biology class.
In fairness, Colin
Wilson intentionally wrote the book in a hallucinatory
Lovecraftian mode, and Lovecraft is actually mentioned
throughout the book as a visionary who, in the feverish depths of
his imagination, tapped into secrets of the collective unconscious.
“Mind Parasites” is such an obscure topic that if you Google
it you’ll find that an email I wrote about it a few years ago, and
which
John Jenkins
archived on his website, turns up in the top three or
four hits. (See
Mind Parasites and Dune ---Jonathan
Zap’s Pavilion)
My intuition is that this seemingly obscure subject, hard for some
to take seriously, is a glimpse, through a glass darkly, into one of
the powerful hidden movers behind human experience, and especially
our long, tortured descent into history, the nightmare from which we
are trying to awaken.
Yesterday I happened to pick up a couple of books that brought this
topic, once again, to the foreground of my attention. The first book
is entitled Eyewitness to History, and is edited by John
Carey. It consists of eyewitness narrative accounts of historic
moments ranging chronologically from a plague in Athens in 430 BC,
to the fall of President Marcos in Manila, 1986. As I read some of
these eyewitness accounts I noticed that most were reports of the
madness of warfare and genocide, culminating in horror
with accounts of Nazi concentration camps, still in living memory.
I couldn’t help but to
notice how surreal, how “over the top” was the ghoulish
grotesqueries of human evil. Putting down that book I picked up
another I’d been meaning to get to since the Seventies----Alexsandr
Solzhenitsyn’s The Gulag Archipelago---an appalling
account of the Soviet forced labor camps where throughout the
Twentieth Century millions upon millions upon millions of completely
innocent Russian citizens were arrested, tortured and thrown into
the most brutal captivity imaginable by their fellow Russian
citizens. What was the reason for this?
Like the “reason”
for World War One, no one can really say for sure. It may
very well have been for the sheer ecstasy of inflecting terror and
horrendous suffering. Law enforcement officials to this day are
sometimes infected with this sadistic ecstasy. Solzhenitsyn
documents the “imagination,” the fancifulness with which arrests and
interrogations were often conducted on innocent citizens so as to
make the surreal horror that much more weird, terrifying and
bizarre. He also points out the strange, paralyzed passivity of the
numerically superior victims who almost never resisted.
These readings caused me to reflect, once again, on whether there
might not be an “unknown constant” in the extremity of human
darkness, this surreal sadism exploding from purportedly the most
intelligent species on the planet, the one apparently most capable
of self awareness and a developed moral sensibility.
The possibility of “mind parasites” is not meer off the wall
speculation for me, because I’ve had real life experiences with
these organisms and they have been reported in all cultures and in
all periods. Of course they haven’t always been called mind
parasites. A better term might be “energy parasites” but
this is also not quite right because it is redundant. All
parasites are energy parasites. “Etheric parasites” sounds
too Theosophist, has the ring of antique occultism. If
anyone can suggest a better term please tell me. Meanwhile I’ll use
“mind parasites” and “energy parasites”
interchangeably.
The possibility of energy parasites should not take a huge willing
suspension of disbelief. Parasitism is one of the three most
classic types of relationship in the organic world. The other two
are predation and symbiosis (my favorite). Notice that
these are all relationships of energetic transaction. And
notice that human begins, collectively, and individually, may be
classified as all three. Certainly we have emerged as the ultimate
predators and parasites on the planet as we devour the biosphere and
bring on mass extinctions.
Parasitology may sound like an obscure branch of biology, but
it is actually central to the evolution of life. Many biologists now
believe that sexual differentiation---the existence of separate
genders that mate to propagate the species----had its origin as an
adaptation to parasites! Parasites themselves evolve so quickly that
in order for hosts to stay enough ahead of them to survive they need
the greater genetic novelty and innovation that is generated by
sexual differentiation. You can read more mind-boggling information
about parasites in a recent book entitled,
Parasite Rex. By one of those
strange twists of fate my father was a parasitologist for the
U.S. Air force during much of World War II.
In Parasite Rex examples are given of how much more
sophisticated, evolved and sinister parasites are than is generally
known. Parasites have the ability, in some cases, to take over the
will of a seemingly much more evolved animal. For example, there is
a parasite that attacks a certain type of crab and eats up all
nonessential soft tissue inside of it, but leaves the basics that
allow locomotion---key muscles, the optic nerves, etc.
It is then able to take
over this partly hollowed out crab and use it in the manner of an
Imperial Lieutenant in the Star Wars fantasy operating an Imperial
Walker. Rabies is caused by a parasite, and it produces a
particular sort of madness that will cause an infected mammal, even
a human being, to want to bite or otherwise cause bloodshed with
other mammals thereby opening a vector, an avenue of transmission,
for the parasite.
We know from biology that wherever we find life we find these
classic relationships of parasitism, predation and
symbiosis. Not too long ago, not much more than three hundred
years, our species was completely clueless about the microbiological
realm. Surgeons would wash their hands after surgery, but not
before. Imagine if anyone had claimed that there were these
incredibly tiny animals, too small to be seen, that were major
players in human destiny.
Imagine that they
claimed that there wasn’t just one kind, but a whole cryptozoology
of millions of strange species, fantastically varied, of both plant
and animal. Imagine that they further claimed that our bodies were
actually made up of a cooperative colony of a trillion such animals!
Anybody making such fantastical claims would have been condemned to
a lunatic asylum or burned at the stake.
Presently, in the West, we have a blind spot in our awareness as
huge as the blind spot we had for most of our existence as a species
of the microbiological realm. Unlike Chinese medicine, Ayurveda
and what would be common knowledge to any tribal Shaman, we
are blind to organisms that exist on the energetic plane.
Dr. Samuel Sagan
is a medical doctor who has researched this subject and written a
book (I’ve only read excerpts) entitled, ENTITIES: Parasites of
the Body of Energy. He’s part of a school in Australia that a
friend of mine attended and spoke highly of, though I know next to
nothing about it. In an excerpt available on the website
clairvision.org, Dr. Sagan
writes,
“ The topic is both
old and new. Old, because in all traditions and folklores of the
earth, one finds references to spirits and non-physical beings
which can interfere with human beings. Thus Ayurveda, the
traditional medicine of India, is divided into eight sections,
one of which is entirely devoted to the study of bhutas,
or entities, their influence on health and sanity, and
the ways one can get rid of them. This places bhuta-vidya,
or 'science of entities', on the same level as surgery or
gynecology. If we look at traditional Chinese medicine, we find
that in acupuncture, among the 361 points of the 14 main
meridians, 17 have the word Kuei (disincarnate spirit)
as part of their main or secondary name.”
Call them spirits,
the incubus and the succubae, they have as many names
as there are cultures and languages, but they have been widely
recognized by everybody except us. Disincarnate organisms
are far more generally recognized than the microbiological realm
ever was until the invention of the microscope.
And there isn’t just one
type of course, but a fantastically varied cryptozoology of
parasites, predators and symbionts. Everywhere we
find life we find endless variations on those classic energetic
relationships----parasitism, predation and symbiosis. As the
alchemists put it, “As above, so bellow.” As on the mircrobiolgical
plane, so also on the energetic plane.
If there are organisms on the energetic plane, we should expect to
find many highly evolved species of parasites. And what every
parasite is looking for is a host with a rich deposit of
energy----like the warm-blooded mammals, which attract female
mosquitoes that will use them to fertilize their eggs and complete
their life cycle. What is the richest deposit of organic energy that
we know of? This would have to be human psychic energy/sexual chi---the
energy that dominates this planet. What types of human beings have
the richest deposit of this energy?
Adolescents,
particularly male adolescents, have the greatest
overabundance of sexual chi, and highly creative visionary
types are thought to have the strongest psychic charge. Is it a
coincidence that these are the types apparently most likely to be
attacked by energy parasites? Another as above, so bellow
phenomenon is that adolescents, particularly males, are apparently
the most likely to be attacked by mosquitoes. Probably this is
because they generate more infrared, have sweeter blood and less
leathery skin.
From my work with dream interpretation, and as someone known
to be a student of paranormal phenomenon, I have listened to dreams
and strange occurrences from people of all ages. A consistent trend
is that it is usually adolescents, or adults recalling an adolescent
episode, who tell me of the classic nighttime parasitic attacks.
These attacks tend to be highly stereotyped and to be entirely
lacking, as far as I can tell, in psychological content. Should we
discard all this human testimony because Western science is so far
unable to satisfactorily explain it? We should always be wary when
any area of human testimony is automatically discarded by a ruling
collective. Think of how many generations, how many millennia, was
the testimony of child abuse rejected by the collective.
Adolescents are the age segment of the population that generate the
strongest excess of sexual chi and are also the group most
associated with parapsychological phenomenon. Poltergeist
activity, for example, is usually associated with adolescents
undergoing puberty in a household in which there is strong sexual
repression. In F. Scott Fitzgerald’s first novel, This
Side of Paradise (written when he was barely out of adolescence
himself), he wrote that people were attracted to the young because
they were giving off “calories of innocence.”
Calories, as I’m
sure you know, are a unit of energy, of heat. When someone is
attractive we say they are “hot.” An interesting correlation I’ve
noticed is that those most likely to report energetic attacks also
tend to be especially good looking. It is as if their dream body or
energy body has an attractiveness that parallels their physical
body.
(For more hidden aspects
of appearance and body image disorders see the synopsis of my book
The Glorified Body –Body Image Disorders and
the Crisis Phase of Human Evolution which will soon be
added to Jonathan Zap’s Pavilion)
One could also conjecture that these especially attractive
individuals are more likely to experience attacks because of
sexual attention or erotic fantasies generated by people
whom they have attracted. Could autoerotic fantasies, highly
energetically charged events culminating in orgasm, “get loose” and
somehow be experienced by their target person during the boundary
dissolution and heightened telepathy of dreaming?
In her book on
projection, Jung’s brilliant colleague, Marie Louise Von Franz,
points out that in traditional cultures projection, like “the
curse of the evil eye,” was depicted as an arrow or missile
going out from the percipient to the target person and penetrating
their energetic field. Any woman who has gotten the creeps while
being cruised by sexually predatory men knows that this is not
merely a metaphor. The effect of these sorts of sexually charged
projections may also explain some of the madness of celebrities
who become the targets of colossal amounts of projection.
Although I have no way of confirming or disproving this possibility,
we do know from quantum mechanics that even on the subatomic
plane, to observe a thing is to change a thing, so the highly
charged sexual projections and autoerotic fantasies directed toward
a person can be reasonably supposed to have an effect on them.
Studies conducted by British biologist
Rupert Sheldrake have confirmed,
for example, that the eyes on the back of your head feeling that
someone is staring at you is a real effect confirmed by controlled
experiments. But to take the next step and suggest that the heated
attention of desire is a vector for energy parasite transmission,
or even an origin of the parasites, is purely speculative at
this point.
In addition to being speculative, it may also be rather dangerous,
as a literal minded person who has an erotic dream involving person
x may falsely assume that person x is stalking them on the
etheric plane. This assumption resulted in not a few witch
burnings in this country during Puritan times when a sexually
repressed man could have an erotic dream about Sarah Goodwife
and this would be admitted into court as “spectral evidence” that
she was a witch.
Some of my fellow
Jungians would also say that what I am calling “mind parasites”
would be better described as “autonomous complexes of the
collective unconscious.” I would have to respectfully disagree
with them, at least in many cases, because if these were autonomous
complexes of the collective unconscious I would expect to see them
occur embedded with more psychological content and associated
mythological motifs, and usually this is not the case.
At the end of this essay on mind parasites I will offer some
more speculations on the origin of mind parasites and the etiology
of parasitic attack, but first I would like to ground this a bit
with some real life experiences. I will start with three cases
I can report first hand---attacks I experienced myself.
Case History #
1
About seven years ago I
was camping with friends, fellow Greenpeace workers, near Taos, New
Mexico. We had spent the previous night in a cave, and had planned
to heighten our experience of the high desert during the daylight
hours with a spirit medicine of the sort associated with dampness
and the subterranean. Going for the heroic dose of what turned out
to be especially potent medicine, I quickly realized that hiking the
high desert in a social context was not where the ally wanted to
take me, which was back to my tent and what Terrance Mckenna
recommends with such medicines---silent darkness. As soon as
I shut my eyes I was aware of an alternate dimension that was so
vivid, complex, high resolution, fully realized and alive that I can
only compare it to some of my brief encounters with Dorothy Mary
Taylor.
I seemed to be looking into organic chambers which intuition
told me were organs of my body. One, I felt certain, was my heart,
but seen on some plane of alchemical energy. The heart was a chamber
with portal like valves and everything was woven of infinitely
detailed filaments of living energy. Colors seemed to reveal secrets
of the function of different structures. The heart was revealed as a
complex nexus and alchemical transformer of cosmic energies,
not merely a fluid pump.
But suddenly there was a
change as definite as the click of a switch being thrown. I felt
that some malign force had become aware of my forbidden
seeing, a breech in the inner eye was detected, and an immunological
response, a sharply aimed attack was launched at me. This attack
successfully disrupted the forbidden seeing, but also provided
another form of forbidden seeing, a revealed instance of mind
parasites at work.
What I experienced was an attack that occurred with a definite
periodicity. About every sixth heartbeat or so, a highly charged
thought form projectile, like a red diamond bullet, penetrated my
psyche and with explosive intensity generated expanding concentric
ripples of fear and disturbance.
The languaging part of
my mind registered this projectile with a contracted word phrase:
CANCERKILLER
CANCERKILLER CANCERKILLER
Along with the languaged
aspect would be a terrible image----a chicken lying at the bottom of
cellar stairs with its throat cut illuminated by a single hanging
light bulb, an emaciated concentration camp victim lying passively
while being slid into an oven, etc. The horrific images over powered
the forbidden alchemical view of bodily organs.
Since this attack I have often wondered if certain other anxiety
attacks weren’t generated more subliminally by the stinging
injections of fear energy coming from mind parasites.
A constant theme of the scanty literature about energy parasites is
that they live off the energy of intense negative emotions
and darker sexual desires. They have also been associated
with (see clairvision.org) cravings for certain foods, especially
sugary or sweet foods. (Mosquitoes also prefer sweet blood, and that
may partly account for their preference for the young)
It seems that they can
feed off the red color temperature of hypercaloric metabolism,
excess emotionality and sexual excitement. They may
not be able to feed off of the bluer energy of the hypometabolic
diet, what in Ayurveda would be called the satvic diet
that emphasizes small portions, live foods and carbohydrates with a
low glycemic index. They are especially unable to feed off the
bluer color temperature of heightened consciousness in a
state of emotional equanimity.
Case History #
2 - Encounter with a Vampire
I’m going to put in as much detail as I can recall (but without
details that might give away the vampire’s identity) of this strange
encounter. Each time I’ve reflected on it I see new connections in
some of the details and I want to give the reader a chance to make
their own connections, to connect the dots themselves.
I first met my young friend Nicholas (not his real name, and
yes, I still consider him a friend) when he was seventeen or
eighteen years old when I was doing I Ching readings for
people in a public place. At the time of the encounter it was about
two years later and Nicholas would have been nineteen or twenty.
In retrospect, Nicholas looks remarkably like an Ann Rice
vampire. He was exceptionally good looking in an androgynous way
and everyone commented on this. More than anyone I’ve ever met in
person, Nicholas looked like a living Japanimation or anime
character. He had enormous eyes, very high cheekbones, straight hair
(dyed various colors) and a very small nose and mouth. A serious
martial arts student, he trained constantly, and was thin with very
high muscle definition.
His metabolism was so
high that he ate enough for four people but had a body fat under 5%.
This was a big problem for him because he had been abandoned by both
parents, was always broke, and whatever money he did have had to go
to the huge quantities of food he had to eat.
Also, much like an Ann Rice vampire, Nicholas was
keenly intelligent and with an impressive array of talents. He had
educated himself in a surprising number of areas for someone so
young, and was well informed about the occult, Eastern philosophy
and psychology. And although he apparently came out of a horrible
trailer trash background, he was mannered, eloquent in speech,
graceful in movement, and exotic in appearance. Some people
instinctively mistrusted him, but to me he was unfailingly honest,
thoughtful, and considerate.
Of course, I have no
doubt that he presented me with his very best side because he valued
me as a mentor. Still, I want to acknowledge that his conduct toward
me was exemplary, and he was, strange as it sounds, a completely
innocent participant (as far as I can tell) in the vampiric
attack I experienced. This will become clearer later in the
narrative.
On the evening of the encounter I hadn’t spent time with Nicholas
for at least a year except for running into him and his girlfriend,
Sapphire (not her real name) for five minutes in a health food
store. This was because I had been traveling and hadn’t been in the
part of the country where they lived for over a year.
After I returned from my travels I ran into Sapphire sitting at a
table in a coffee shop. Also exotically beautiful, and racially
unidentifiable, Sapphire was a couple of years younger than
Nicholas. Although her appearance hadn’t changed much she seemed
completely different than when I had first seen her over a year ago.
A year ago she was someone I would never have expected to have a
conversation with. She was extremely shy or at least so inwardly
shut up inside herself that I never saw her relate to anyone, except
in the most perfunctory way, besides Nicholas.
One time she
complimented my artwork, but otherwise we scarcely exchanged a
complete sentence even though I saw her almost every day. And it
wasn’t just me, in the past there had been this powerful keep
away field surrounding her like a force field. But now there was
an amazing change, she made strong, friendly eye contact, greeted me
like an old friend, and she seemed completely relaxed, open and
eager to talk. I was astonished. I’ve almost never seen such an
extraordinary change in someone in a year’s time.
We had a great heart to heart talk and there were two or three more
such conversations in the next couple of weeks. Sapphire was only
about seventeen, but now had the poise of a much older woman, was
highly intelligent, articulate, precociously wise, and her exotic
beauty turned heads wherever she went. She acknowledged the profound
change in herself and credited most of it to the influence of
Nicholas. Nicholas had, she told me, with painstaking effort,
patience and insight helped her to work her way out of her problems.
On the evening of the encounter, as part of a revelation of his own
life story, Nicholas told me that Sapphire had been
brought up in a cult, and from the earliest age had been subjected
to constant sexual abuse, had been raised to be a Kama Sutra
trained sex slave. When I first met Sapphire I felt she was a
borderline personality type, a person with fragmented center who
seemed likely to remain that way. Given her horrendous past, this
wasn’t surprising. But the improvement in her was little short of
astounding.
Much of our conversation was about her relationship with Nicholas.
They had been together for three or four years, which at their age
was practically a lifetime. A traumatic aspect of the relationship,
for her, was that she wanted to be monogamous, but Nicholas insisted
on an open relationship, and he had affairs with other young women.
He was never dishonest about this, did all he could to ease her
discomfort, and always related to her as his principle lover. But,
nevertheless, it was traumatic for her.
In the last conversation I had with Sapphire she mentioned
that some guy she had known in the past, who had been abroad, had
returned to town and was madly in love with her. She was apparently
considering having an affair with him, since she had always been the
monogamous partner in this open relationship.
A few days later it was a freezing cold night and I was hanging out
in my RV when Nicholas called me on my cell phone. Although I
had these heart to heart talks with Sapphire recently, I still
hadn’t spent any time, besides five minutes in the health food
store, with Nicholas. Sapphire told me several times that she
wanted me to spend time with Nicholas because it had helped him so
much in the past, but we had conflicting schedules, and it hadn’t
happened yet. Nicholas told me on the cell phone that he desperately
needed to talk to me that evening, that Sapphire was leaving him for
this new guy and was going to live with him in another country. He
was close by and I told him to come right over.
Soon Nicholas was sitting across from me in the back of my
eighteen-foot RV, drinking yerba mate. Outside the wind was howling
and it was one of the coldest nights of the year. The lighting in
the RV was rather dim. It had been a gray, overcast day and my solar
panel hadn’t fully charged the deep cycle batteries. With the
propane furnace running, which uses an electric fan, electricity was
low and I lit a couple of candles for more light.
Nicholas looked
quite stressed compared to how he looked just a couple of weeks
before. His complexion was what Ann Rice would have called, “preternaturally
pale,” and he was thinner, his face looking drawn, his elfin
japanimation features seemed ready to morph into Edward Munch’s
The Scream.
Naturally, the first thing we talked about was his relationship with
Sapphire. He reiterated some of the things that she had said
about his successful efforts to help her, and told me about her
abusive past. Although he had always insisted on an open
relationship, and even though he knew it was hypocritical, now that
the shoe was on the other foot he felt terrible. She was spending
the night with this guy right now. He might have been able to work
through that, but now that she was suddenly leaving him to live with
this guy in another country…. Having been abandoned by his parents
years ago, Sapphire was the closest thing to family he had ever
experienced.
We talked about this for some time, I gave him the best advice I
could, and we did a couple of I Ching readings on the subject. After
the readings, Nicholas told me that he was ready to change
the subject, that he had spent the whole day talking to his closest
friends about this traumatic break up and he felt talked out about
it.
Nicholas’s change of subject was rather unexpected and
abrupt.
“I think I’m a
vampire.” He said.
“How do you mean?” I asked.
“I feed off of other people’s energy.”
“Everybody does to some extent, can you give me an example?”
“For example, you.” Replied Nicholas. “From the first time I
met you I wanted to feed off of your energy.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“I’ve always wanted to learn as much as I could from you, to
absorb your ideas, and there’s always been a sexual
undercurrent to it.”
This last part surprised
me, seemed to come from left field, otherwise his explanation didn’t
sound particularly vampiric. I assumed he had the hunger of a
narcissistic personality type always wanting more attention. Very
understandable and sympathetic considering how unparented he had
been.
It’s always a good idea to pay attention when someone tells you
they’re a vampire or evil. This had happened to me years before,
someone told me they were evil, but I was young and too busy being
sympathetic to realize that I was getting a very serious warning
from someone who, indeed, was evil, but had a subordinate part of
themselves that had enough love for me to give me a heads up. This
evil “mutant” even told me about the exact moment in his
life, at age sixteen, when he experienced (his description) “the
death of his soul.”
Foolishly I ignored the
warning and this resulted in, among an array of dark consequences, a
vampiric energetic attack with lasting consequences. But this an
even more bizarre story that might take hundreds of pages to
unravel. And if that wasn’t enough a prior lesson, when I was ten
years old I survived a still more dangerous and bizarre, nearly
fatal, paraspsychological attack which resulted in a dog
mauling and hundreds of stitches. The point is, I should have known
better---I had been there before, been bitten before. A classic
pitfall is that if you have survived weird darkness you may develop
a fatal vanity that you know what you’re doing or that lightening
won’t strike twice (an especially foolish notion if your last name
is Zap).
It may be true that most evil entities and vampires don’t tell you
what they are. They’re often too busy being deceptive and “the devil
hath the power to assume a pleasing shape” and all that, and you
have to be able to see through the guise, the enticing aura of
glamour, beauty, power. But a surprising number of vampires
and evil types will tell you what they are, often just once,
like a subtly placed calling card, and you’d better pay attention.
Often people make the mistake of thinking this person’s just a punk
trying to show off, if they really were evil/vampiric, etc.
they wouldn’t admit it. But many times they are both showing off and
they are evil or vampiric.
And don’t forget that
narcissistic punks can be evil or vampiric too.
Another dangerous delusion is that if you are what I call a “mutant”----a
self-transforming round peg off the accepted scale of
normality---then other mutants must be your allies. As a mutant
myself, I have had the blessing and privilege to be a magnet for
other mutants, but I have sometimes forgotten that mutants are not
just dangerous to the collective, they can also sometimes be
dangerous to other mutants. This is especially true if you
underestimate them, or are glamorized by their charisma into
overlooking their shadow.
In Nicholas’s case he was not showing off, was not a punk
(except sometimes in style of dress), and was not toying with me,
not playing the game of leaving the calling card hidden in plain
view. He was seeking help for an actual condition. Unfortunately, I
was busy being sympathetic, rather than empathic, and taking what he
was telling me too psychologically and not enough bioenergetically.
We passed over the vampire part and I failed to notice the
significance, that the life story he then narrated well into the
night had begun with his stark statement,
“I think
I’m a vampire.”
The revelation came and
went too quickly, and I failed to recognize its continued relevance
to the life story that followed. But in just a few more hours I
would be taking it very seriously indeed.
Nicholas told me that he had no memory of the first four
years of his life---it was a complete blank. He was pretty sure this
was because he had been abused by his father who later abandoned
him. There wasn’t a trace of incest survivor self pity or victim
glamour, and his hunch seemed plausible.
A classic symptom of the
abuse, which he noticed about himself, was that he had been
extremely promiscuous with members of both genders from a very early
age. There was a great deal of violence in his childhood. His mother
went through a series of abusive boyfriends who were also abusive to
him. As a young child he witnessed a brutal murder right inside his
trailer home. His mother abandoned him at an early age, and he had
to make it on his own as a street kid in a big city.
Much of this was a surprise to me, because even though I knew
Nicholas was separated from his parents, he had a rather
polished manner, was so intelligent and well educated and was always
stylishly groomed and dressed in surreal costumes of various sorts
from Gothic to futuristic punk to fantasy Renaissance fair attire.
Presently he seemed more elf-like than vampiric. He
was wearing some sort of elaborate, laced leather jerkin, a finely
made Renaissance fair sort of item that looked like what Orlando
Bloom wore as Legolas in the Tolkien films. He did not seem like
someone from a violent, trailer trash background, though vaguely I
remembered that he may have told me some of this a year before, but
it never quite gelled in my mind because the detail was left out,
and it was so incongruous with the Nicholas I knew.
Nicholas’s life story didn’t have any feeling of fabrication about
it, much of it depicted him in an unflattering light. He had been a
victim of violence from the earliest age, but as he got older, and
learned how to fight, he had also been quite violent himself, and
with shame and anxiety he admitted that he had severely maimed one
or more persons. He was a street kid living in a dangerous urban
environment. For a while he lived with a man who was a major dealer
of a designer drug in the rave world. Apparently he was this man’s
companion, protégé, object of infatuation, bodyguard and probably
lover (I can’t recall if he made this last part explicit or not).
There was a certain park he went to in the city to have anonymous
encounters with members of the same gender.
By the time I met him, Nicholas’s looks, intelligence and
charisma (my observations, not his) had obviously opened doors for
him and he was able to make his way off the street and into more
favorable circumstances, though he still lived close to the edge.
But now, with the loss of Sapphire, who lived in more
affluent circumstances, a big part of his emotional and physical
support system was falling away.
We talked well into the night, freezing wind howling outside the RV.
Sometimes the gusts were strong enough to cause this fiberglass
coach to roll slightly on its suspension, like a ship lost at sea.
At some point, much earlier in the evening, Nicholas realized that
he had missed the last bus to the town where he had a place to stay.
He was used to staying in this town with Sapphire, but, obviously,
that wasn’t happening tonight. He asked if he could crash in my RV.
Of course I said yes, my sleeping loft easily slept three, two with
plenty of room to spare, and he didn’t seem to have any other
option.
After recounting his life story, Nicholas said he was
exhausted and looked it. I told him to take the far side of the
sleeping loft, so I wouldn’t have to disturb him when I got up
there, and took the near side. He lay down on the loft and seemed to
instantly fall asleep. I followed sometime later. Usually I need
less sleep than most people, and I am also a very, very light
sleeper. This may be the result of years of training myself to wake
up and recall my dreams.
Usually I have 100%
recall, so I feel it’s a good trade off even though it is often a
hardship for someone who travels as much as I do, often out of a
backpack. I also tend to be hyper sensitive to human energies, and
it is almost impossible, for example, for me to fall asleep or
remain asleep in a dwelling where anyone else is awake. So I knew it
would be tough for me to fall asleep so near to someone else’s
energy field, and I wanted to make sure Nicholas was sound
asleep before I even tried.
When I did go up on the loft I took the extreme near side of the
loft to have as much personal space as possible. After I lay there
for some minutes waiting for sleep, Nicholas rolled over in such a
way that three different parts of his body, his forehead, knees and
toes were lightly touching my body as he lay in a fetal position. I
didn’t want to wake him, so I just lay there and eventually fell
asleep.
Sometime, in the middle of the night, an inner survival warning
system woke me wide-awake in an instant. I’m not sure how to
describe what followed because so many things were apparent
simultaneously, but can’t be described simultaneously. Describing
one thing after another would seem to imply a chronological
sequence, but the first several things were all apparent in the
first heartbeat or two of awakeness, they were more like a
simultaneous overlay of perceptions and realizations rather than a
sequential cascade. Please keep this in mind as I relate the
following.
I was awakened by one of the most shocking and intense things I have
ever felt in a long life of shocking anomalous experiences. A
massive, massive energy transfer was happening, primal life
energy, chi, was pouring out of me and into Nicholas’s
sleeping body which was still lightly touching mine. I found myself
paralyzed, and this paralysis seemed a more active, energetic
version of ordinary sleep paralysis.
I felt myself restrained
with lashings of fiery energy, much the way Gulliver, in Gulliver’s
Travels, awoke to find that the tiny Lilliputians had restrained him
with lashings of rope over his whole body. There was a parasitic
entity in the sleeping loft hovering just bellow the roof near
our feet. It was like a dark cloud, or vortex, with a somewhat
double convex lens shape similar to the way a spiral galaxy looks
from a great distance. My visual perception of it was not definite;
it was dark and amorphous with fractal boundaries and rotating
movement.
I felt it energetically,
a direct perception of it, and there may or may not have been an
overlay of conventional, anatomical eyesight. I knew that this
parasite was living in conjunction with Nicholas and was
directing the massive, massive energy transfer while he slept. I
felt that if this energy transfer were to continue for even three or
four more heartbeats I couldn’t be sure if I would even be me
anymore, if there would be anything left capable of resisting.
All of the above was a multilayered simultaneous realization.
You may have experienced, I certainly have, that in life or death
situations our psyche can step outside of slow, linear time thinking
ego mode and go into an enhanced mode where profound layers of
perception can unfold in a heart beat.
After this first heartbeat of recognition, there was a change in me,
my will to resist emerged like a sword pulled from a sheath. And in
my mind, a blue fire sparked, instead of fear there was an
intense curiosity and fascination, I had been studying mind
parasites for years and now I was able to see how it actually
worked! With my mind fully awake, and my will activated to stop this
vast, insidious suction of energy, the color temperature of my
psychic energetic metabolism had switched from red to blue,
an energy that is apparently unnourishing, even dangerously toxic to
parasites. The dark spiral cloud entity made a distinct sound
at that point, the only way I can language this sound (it’s meaning
was instantly apparent) is to say that it was the sound of primal
frustration of a very hungry animal that has been interrupted in
the middle of feeding.
With my mind and will fully awakened, the parasitic cloud entity
vanished like a puff of smoke, leaving not even a hazy residue. The
energy transfer had already stopped and it was just me and
Nicholas on the sleeping loft. All of this occurred in a space
of less than six heartbeats, possibly as few as three or four, but
it had indelibly etched itself on my memory.
Now perhaps you can make sense of my earlier statement that Nicholas
was an innocent participant in the vampiric attack (as far as I can
tell). Nicholas has never consciously acted to harm me in any
way (unlike the person who warned me he was evil!). Even the attack
did not appear to be harmful (because I had successfully resisted
it). I didn’t feel drained the next day, or ill in anyway. Again,
this was a dramatic contrast to the other vampiric attack,
many years before, that left me ill for weeks afterwards. Months
after I recovered from that illness, which much resembled giardia—a
parasitic infection----the vampiric person called me on the
phone from South Korea while I was in Manhattan, thousands of miles
away, and within two minutes, before I hung up the phone, the
illness returned!
Ultimately, the experience with Nicholas was a peak learning
event revealing much about a very significant phenomenon. This does
not mean that I encourage anyone to approach vampires to learn from
them. “Studying the dark side” is one of the most classic ways to
get sucked into the dark side, and that remains one of the most
likely pitfalls for me.
Returning to my narrative, I stayed awake on the sleeping loft for
some time, possibly the rest of the night, thinking about what
happened and reinforcing the experience, both the conversation with
Nicholas and the attack, into memory. I felt perfectly safe
afterwards, though as an extra precaution I did an inner practice
called “Theater of Memory,” which, among other virtues, is
very effective in sealing and protecting energetic boundaries.
The following morning I told Nicholas what I had experienced
and he seemed interested, but not the least surprised. He reminded
me that he had told me the night before that he was a vampire,
that he fed off of other people’s energy, and that he had always
been attracted to mine! I could hardly accuse him of pulling the
wool over my eyes. My tone was not accusatory or asking for apology,
but one of fascination with what I had learned. We parted on good
terms, though I have not seen Nicholas or Sapphire ever since then.
There are many interesting details in this case study to comment on.
The first that comes to mind is the paradoxical complexity of
Nicholas as symbiont/host to a vampiric parasite and the many
positive, even exemplary, things about him. Ann Rice’s vampires have
much this same uneasy mixture of the admirable and the horrific.
Nicholas had clearly had an astoundingly positive effect on
Sapphire, though he also suggested that his vampiric nature may have
been unsatisfying to her erotically, and may be what caused her to
seek fulfillment with another lover.
Nicholas was a classic candidate for parasitical attack and
infection as an extremely attractive male adolescent. He may have
been repeatedly raped as a small child, and was certainly highly
promiscuous there after. Just as physical sex is now known as a
great disease vector for microbiological parasites---as above, so
bellow---it is also a likely vector for energetic parasites.
Similarly, a voracious appetite for food, with an inability to put
on weight, is sometimes a symptom of physical parasites, like tape
worms, perhaps it is also a symptom of energy parasites that
want to rev up the metabolic fires of their hosts. In the movie,
The Matrix, Neo is derisively called “Coppertop,” a reference to
Duracell batteries, and a reminder to him that he exists to be used
as a disposable energy source for parasitic machines.
The way Nicholas’s vampirism worked had remarkable parallels
to the origin of vampires that eventually unfolds in Ann Rice’s
Vampire Chronicles. In her vampire cosmology, a spirit, a
disembodied entity (spirits are often said to be jealous of those
possessing physical bodies) that has an affinity for human blood, is
able to merge with the bodies of an ancient King and Queen of Egypt
through the apertures of bloody wounds opened in their bodies by the
stabbing knives of assassins. The King, Queen and the disincarnate
spirit become bonded, merged symbionts, and a new species is
created, neither flesh nor spirit---the vampires. Nicholas, a
self proclaimed vampire, seemed to be a symbiont/host of a
disembodied parasitic entity.
Case History # 3
The third first hand
case history of mind parasite attack happened just
eighteen days ago. You may have already read this one as an email
entitled “Mutant Danger Alert!” If so, you may still want to
reread this brief account from the new perspective of mind parasites
taking over the susceptible to attack a mutant. The people involved
in this attack have turned out to be decent people who, apparently
ashamed of their behavior that night, have gone out of their way to
help me out since then, so the story had a happy ending.
The fact that they are
decent people makes this an even more likely attack of mind
parasites inserting their minds or thought forms into
susceptible psyches. This attack came at night, and when I was
already in a somewhat vulnerable state of mind. It happened on the
13th of this month, the night of the full moon. Here’s my
first person account written the day after the attack:
Last night something occurred that seemed like a Twilight Zone
episode or like being inside an overwritten Stephen King
story or Shirley Jackson play. I’m sending this out
because I think this incident has a general meaning with some
implications for many of us.
Yesterday I returned to my campsite very late in the afternoon after
spending most of the day in Ione. In the two or three days
proceeding, I had very pleasant experiences at this campground. I
met a middle-aged couple who invited me to dinner and breakfast. I
relocated to a better tent site at the edge of the campground away
from where there were families with noisy small children. The couple
relocated (for the same reason I did) taking the spot right across
from me. Yesterday morning, shortly before I left for Ione, they
packed up and left and when I returned a family with noisy kids and
a boom box had replaced them. I sat quietly reading at my site.
As dark started to fall
(this was the 13th, which was also the full moon) a new couple---an
obese woman in her late teens/early twenties and a bean pole guy
with crew cut (everybody involved very redneck) comes up to the new
family across from me and I overhear bizarre sound bites of some
dire warning being given, something about a “psychopathic
guy…staring at all the children….writing’ weird symbols in his own
excrement on the bathroom walls.” The weirdly tomboyish matriarch of
the new family says, “I’ve got knives and hatchet (which she
pronounced “hetchit” rhyming with khetschup) The obese/beanpole
couple says, “Just give a holler if you need us.” And the matriarch
says, “He better stay on his side of the road.”
Suddenly I realize, I’m
the only one on the other side of the road, they must be talking
about me! Inwardly I debate with myself about whether I am either
being victimized by my own paranoid imagination or by some sort of
actual red neck witch hunt. Some anxious minutes go by while I’m not
quite able to resolve this or to think of any appropriate action.
Then obese/beanpole couple returns to the family, dark has fallen
now, but in the flickering light of their fire pit I see that
obese/beanpole and family are all standing together and looking like
a posse. The obese woman call out to me in a challenging tone,
“Where you
from?”
“Colorado.” I respond.
Suddenly obese/beanpole standing in front of me. “How come
you been starin’ at all the kids?” (the kids in question
were fat, inbred red neck kids that probably no one, least
of all me, had any interest or history of staring at)
“What?! I haven’t been staring at any kids. I’ve been gone
almost all day in Ione. I’ve only been over to that side of
the campground once today to fill up my water bottle!”
A six or seven year old
girl, with a Salem Witch trial glint in her eyes appears from
the shadows and says in an accusatory tone,
“That’s right, I
saw him comin’ right at me wit’ his was water bottle an’ he
was starin’ right at me.” Next, the obese woman claims that
she is the host of the campground (I later found out this
was a complete lie) and says,
“And somebody been making weird symbols on the bathroom
walls with their own excrement!”
“That’s weird and gross,” I responded, “but it certainly
wasn’t me!”
(Later I
recalled that there were a few random streaks of mud on the
bathroom walls which to the serial killer movie/ tv news
---“if it bleeds, it leads”---addled imagination of an IQ
challenged amateur detective could only mean one thing: an
evil serial killer making satanic symbols with his own
excrement!)
I tried to apply more
reason and in a reasonable tone. (In retrospect, or if I run into
them again, I should have pointed out that libel is actionable
offense). Violent crime in this country has gone down by about 30%
in the last ten years but the reportage of in the same period has
increased 600% so that kids are so frightened of strangers that a
random glance feels like a potential abduction.” etc. Beanpole/obese
seemed a bit swayed, but the weirdly tomboyish matriarch had a
violently negative response to my reasonable approach which might
have been too intellectual for her. She said, “He’s just tryin’ to
use facts, I know people who are in prison for life who try to use
facts.”
Beanpole/obese walked
off, but the matriarch caught in some version of auto-echolalia
began repeating herself, emphasizing angrily the connection between
those who use facts and lifelong convicts. When this tape ran out
she began saying, “If he tries to touch any of my kids I’ll put this
hetchit (holding said implement in her hand) right through his
heart!” this tape repeated itself at length; in fact I heard it as I
was in my tent trying to fall asleep. Realizing that any more facts
would just rile them up more, but also not about to pack up and
leave in the middle of night ( a sure admission in their eyes that I
was a serial killer) I had to spend my full moon thirteenth in a
kind of horror story setting.
My tent is still at that campsite and I might come back to find them
gone or a cross burning in the middle of my tent or who knows…. This
morning when I asked to speak to the “host” when I found a clean up
crew coming through I learned that there was no host. I also took
the precaution of calling the people who supervise the campground to
let them know of my experience. If they are still there I plan to
confront them and remind them about libel.
There is, I believe, a more general meaning to this bizarre
incident. I realized that this mind parasite attack had resemblances
to my experiences at the border where this customs woman I hadn’t
interacted with in over a year remembered everything about me and
said that she spotted me 3 or 4 times in Nelson.
What I realized is that
if you are what I call a mutant, an unusual person that
doesn’t fit the mold, you are likely going to be the target of some
very polarized projections. In the right social venue, like the
gathering I had just been to or some place else where there is a
concentration of fellow conscious mutants, I often get great
recognition and positive attention from people. But over a lifetime
I have found that when dealing with square peg types that their
unconscious immediately registers you as a mutant even if you
are (as I am now) middle aged with short hair, white skin, clean
shaven, normally dressed. Then you become like “a splinter in their
mind they can’t get out.”
You are a subliminal
shock wave threat to their unconscious equilibrium and they have an
immunological response to you, they want you out of the body
politic, they want to burn the witch they sense in you. The USA has
a bad history with witch-hunts and is now more fear driven then
ever. So if you are a mutant, are living an alternative life that
deviates from statistical norms in anyway, watch out! The lunatic
majority doesn’t need a full moon to get medieval on your ass,
they’re ready to do it all the time. So cloak yourself and be alert,
the Babylon Matrix remains a very dangerous place.
This attack occurred during a full moon, and we all know
there is a some link between lunar and lunatic. The lunatic aspect
may be related to the uncanny association of parasitic beings and
the moon, which has also been noted by others. Gurdjieff
described the moon this way, and frequently said that unconscious
people were “food for the moon.” I’d known that since studying
Gurdjieff in the Eighties, but also found it turning up in,
The Mind Parasites, where one character asks,
“Do you know the
work of the philosopher Gurdjieff? He always said that human
beings were food for the moon. He compared the human race to a
flock of sheep that are being fattened for the moon…”
The moon has a
certain physical analogy to parasites in that it does not have its
own energy source or illumination, and only reflects the energy of
the sun. That’s from our vantage, of course, since the earth is also
dependent on the sun for energy. In my earliest visions of the
parasites I saw what I called “moon worms.” They had a pale,
unearthly, baleful luminosity. In a novel of the West, All the
Pretty Horses, recently made into a major motion picture, the
heroic protagonist, an adolescent male sixteen years old, in a
moment glaringly incongruous with the style and content of the rest
of the novel, looks up at the moon and wonders if there aren’t
parasitic entities up there feeding off of human suffering.
In one of the most visionary plates in Alex Gray’s classic
art book, Sacred Mirrors, we see a seated figure in the
center of a kind of mandala of energy. Around the circumference we
see many permutations of the act of physical coupling. At two points
of the mandala are angelic Hindu beings, one as I recall looks like
Ganesh, the elephant deity. The couplings near these figures
seem loving. At the other two points of the mandala are parasitic
deities; one of them looks like a devouring vagina. The
couplings near these figures are sado-masochistic and negative.
A close friend of
Alex Grey told me a story about the inspiration for this
painting. Let me emphasize that this is a second hand story that I
have not confirmed with Alex. But even if it were a fabricated urban
legend, it would still have significance. I was told that Alex was
hanging out with friends in an apartment where everyone had taken
acid. Suddenly Alex noticed his friends hitting on each other in an
ugly way and he became aware of parasitic deities above the earth
that seemed to be promoting the ugliness and feeding off of the
negative energy.
(I’m going to jump around a bit now, throw out some more dots on
this nebulous map of unseen parasites, give you a chance to connect
the dots as you choose.)
In the last chapter of Castaneda’s last book involving his
relationship with Don Juan, a chapter entitled “The Mud
Shadows,” Don Juan takes Castaneda out into the desert and helps him
to shift into the second attention. From the second attention
Castaneda can see what Don Juan calls “the
flyers,” shadowy worm like creatures that feed off of
human energy and have the ability to insert their mind into the
minds of average, susceptible people.
The physical description
of these “flyers” sound remarkably like the “rods,”
the very high seed flying organisms that have been video taped by
Jose Escamilla (see
roswellrods.com). Consider the poem
by William Blake at the beginning of this essay and the “The
invisible worm/That flies through the night.”
Don Juan is not the only one to suggest that there might be
parasites, as there are microbiologically, that have an
ability to insert their mind or will into a host. In the novel,
The Mind Parasites, it is suggested that certain diabolic
individuals like Hitler and the Marquis De Sade (who
encouraged the dark sexuality of the sort we see near the parasitic
deities in Alex Gray’s vision) are puppets, zombies who have been
hollowed out by the parasites and are now entirely under their
control. When Jung met Hitler he described him as “a
psychic scarecrow,” and some very evil figures have been
described as having blank, doll’s eyes and to be on a kind of
automatic pilot like mechanical puppets.
When they asked one
serial killer what he was thinking about when he stalked young
women in preparation for torturing and killing them he replied
matter of factedly, “Takin’ care of business.” Maybe that’s the one
thought rattling around in George W’s hollowed out head: “Takin’
care of business.”
I’m going to quote a
long passage from The Mind Parasites to give you a feel for
how Collin Wilson describes it,
“ In a few cases,
the vampires have been able to completely take over a human mind
and use it for their own purposes. For example, I am almost
certain that De Sade was one of these ‘zombies’ whose
brain was entirely in the control of the vampires. The
blasphemy and stupidity of his work are not, as in many cases,
evidence of demonic vitality, and the proof of it is that De
Sade never matured in any way, although he lived to be 74.
The sole purpose of his life work is to add to the mental
confusion of the human race, deliberately to distort and pervert
the truth about sex.
As soon as I understood about the mind vampires, the history of
the past two hundred years became absurdly clear. Until about
1780 …most art tended to be life enhancing, like the music of
Hayden and Mozart. After the invasion of the mind
vampires, this sunny optimism became almost impossible to
the artist. The mind vampires always chose the most intelligent
men as their instruments, because it is ultimately the
intelligent men who have the greatest influence on the human
race. Very few artists have been powerful enough to hurl them
off, and such men have gained a new strength in doing so---Beethoven
is clearly an example; Goethe another.
And this explains why it is so important for the mind
vampires to keep their presence unknown, to drain man’s
lifeblood without his being aware of it. A man who defeats the
mind vampires becomes doubly dangerous to them, for his forces
of self-renewal have conquered. In such cases, the vampires
probably attempt to destroy him in another way—by trying to
influence other people against him.”
A couple of pages later
and Wilson makes a very interesting speculation. He suggests
that the parasites may seek out species that are on the brink
of a quantum evolutionary leap, but still in the highly
energetically charged, vulnerable position of not yet having emerged
on the other side of that leap.
“Now I suspect that
these mind vampires specialize in finding races who have
almost reached this point of evolution, who are on the brink of
achieving a new power, and then feeding on them until they have
destroyed them. It is not their actual intention to destroy –
because once they have done this, they are forced to seek
another host. Their intention is to feed for as long as possible
on the tremendous energies generated by the evolutionary
struggle.
Their purpose,
therefore, is to prevent man from discovering the worlds
inside himself, to keep his attention directed outwards. I
think there can be no possible doubt that the wars of the
twentieth century are a deliberate contrivance of these
vampires. Hitler, like De Sade, was almost
certainly another of their ‘zombis’. A completely destructive
world war would not serve their purposes, but continual minor
skirmishes are admirable.”
A few paragraphs later
Wilson states the intuition I had long before I read Mind
Parasites---that the parasites, seen from a sufficiently
encompassing evolutionary vantage, are revealed to be symbionts
in that they challenge an evolving host to become far more conscious
in order to shake off the threat. Frank Herbert, in his
fourth Dune novel, God Emperor of Dune, seems to have
had a similar idea.
The God Emperor
who is following his “Golden Path” (apparently his personal
revelation of an evolutionary Tao), makes himself into a supreme
predator or parasite that dominates the human species for millennia.
He does not enjoy being an oppressor, but is doing it purposefully
so as to paradoxically create mutants who will be so resistant to
oppression that they will able to lead their species out of bondage
forever. In the I Ching it is said that some things do not
fully blossom or unfold unless they are fully compressed (or
oppressed).
Wilson writes,
“I have another
theory, which is so absurd that I hardly dare to mention it.
This is that the mind vampires are, without intending it,
the instruments of some higher force. They may, of
course, succeed in destroying any race that becomes their host.
But if, by any chance, the race should become aware of the
danger, the result is bound to be the exact opposite of what is
intended.
One of the chief
obstacles to human evolution is man’s boredom and
ignorance, his tendency to drift and allow tomorrow to take care
of itself. In a certain sense, this is perhaps a greater danger
to evolution---or at least, a hindrance---than the vampires
themselves. Once a race becomes aware of these vampires,
the battle is already half won. Once man has a purpose
and a belief, he is almost invincible. The vampires might
serve, therefore, to inoculate man against his own indifference
and laziness…”
Elsewhere, Colin
Wilson compares the insidious effects of the mind parasites
to “radar jamming.” This is a metaphor or analog to their apparent
ability to obfuscate, to generate confusion, wild dangerous rumor
(as happened to me on the 13th) and otherwise make it
hard for the host species to wake up. Mayan scholar John Jenkins
and I had a dialogue very recently concerning the deceptive
Dreamspell fad, and its obfuscation of authentic Mayan calendar
and prophecy. (See “Zap on Dreamspell” ----Jonathan Zap’s
Pavilion)
Everyone has noticed
that whenever a creative cultural trend tries to get started, any
time a new scene, a new bohemia tries to get going, corrupt
commercializers rush in to produce a degraded, counterfeit version
that sucks all the life out of it. If a new visionary band appeared
on the music scene they would probably be found advertising
disposable Burger King cups by the end of the month. If a
mutant is discovered they can be either repressed or imprisoned
(like what the feds did to
Wilhelm Reich), or they can be
promoted into a celebrity where they will be hollowed out by
projections and parasitic temptations until they become a
‘zombis’ for the Matrix.
Potential mutants may be exactly the ones taken over
by the mind parasites as Collin Wilson suggests. The school
shooters, particularly the Columbine kids---Eric Harris and
Dylan Klebold are all male adolescents, usually good looking.
John Lee Malvo seems to be another one. Their terrifying
actions seem very intelligently and precisely directed so as to
create the richest harvest of fear and negative emotion in the
collective.
We have said very little so far about the possible etiology or
origin of the mind parasites. One intriguing theory of origin is
presented by Dr. Samuel Sagan (clairvision.org).
According to this theory, at the time of human death, there are
denser, darker fragments of consciousness that remain behind after
the spirit departs the body. Sagan believes that many
traditional funeral practices, especially those involving
cremation, were originally designed to destroy these
fragments. These lingering incomplete fragments of consciousness
do not have their own direct connection to pranic or life
energy, but must parasitically attach themselves to those that
do. This seems similar to the Buddhist concept of the “hungry
ghost.”
There is a principle of logic known as
Occham’s Razor which may support
Sagan’s theory somewhat. Occham’s Razor says that hypotheses
are not multiplied without necessity. In other words, we don’t adopt
fancy, complex explanations where simpler ones seem to suffice. If
there are energy parasites (for many this is a big if)
and since they seem to both understand and be perfectly adapted to
feeding off of human energy, instead of suggesting a more exotic
theory of origin, say extraterrestrial or interdimenisonal
parasites hunting through the multiverse, we can simplify
our hypothesis by having us, human beings, whom we know exist, as
the source of the parasite. At one point Colin Wilson
suggests that we might be the parasites in his novel. I made a
similar suggestion during the discussion of projection.
Employing Occham’s Razor to cut away the fanciful altogether,
it is also possible to describe mind parasites in terms of
memes, or units of cultural transmission. When people
tried to explain the actions of the Columbine kids in terms of their
obsessive addiction to the video game Doom, they were essentially
relying on memes as the source of contagion. Although I think
they were wrong, or at least wildly disproportionate, it can easily
be demonstrated that
memes are quite capable of
functioning as mind parasites.
For example, an
adolescent male watching the endless blockbuster movies in which
scenes of extreme violence are dovetailed with scenes that are
sexually arousing---like James Bond making out with some exotic
beauty moments after a glamorous blood bath, or, even worse, both
violent and arousing, like the famous erotically charged
shower/stabbing scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. Another
example are the subliminal, and not so subliminal enticements
in cigarette ads. These memes cross wires that should not be
crossed---sex/violence, sex/cigarettes. Certainly in
the cigarette ads it is the conscious intention of their designers
to create a parasitical infection, a mind insertion meant to
cause a virulent addiction that, in the shortened life of an average
smoker, nets tobacco companies hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Using subliminals
and sexually arousing images to sell known toxins
should be outlawed to close at least one mind parasite vector. A
psychologist I saw on a panel discussion wisely suggested that there
be a “cooling off period” between sexually arousing scenes and
violent scenes in movies so that we stop conditioning adolescent
males to perceive violence as sexy. I don’t, however, advocate
anything but voluntary self censorship.
To demonstrate how memes can act as functional mind
parasites we can get even simpler and give an example of a
single sentence (another cultural unit of transmission) acting to
spread soul-consuming mind parasites.
Let’s say we have an adolescent male who has many good,
compassionate qualities. He forms an attachment to an adolescent
girl and there is a genuine bond, he truly cares for her. The
adolescent is genuinely traumatized and extremely vulnerable when he
discovers that, in typical high school fashion, the girlfriend has
cheated on him. He goes to his best friend for sympathetic council
and his friend utters a single definitive sentence, “That’s just the
way they are, so fuck ‘em and forget ‘em!”
In the painful confusion
of adolescent eros a single sentence like this, from the right
person and at the right moment, could be potently influential, could
seem like an empowered antidote to the pain and confusion. If the
adolescent male adopts this soul-destroying mind parasite,
transmitted in a single sentence meme, he may then spend a
lifetime infecting others with the contagion.
Finally, in dealing with an important, but nebulous phenomenon such
as energy parasites or UFOs, the strategy I follow and recommend to
others is to avoid formatory thinking or premature closure. This is
the lazy mental habit of thinking you’ve got the answer and letting
that notion harden into a perceptual dogma making you a true
believer of a pet theory. Prematurely closed ideas create an
enormous apriori constraint on you observational powers,
influencing you to corral the evidence to fit your theory.
I regard my thoughts about mind parasites to be speculative,
and I will be thrilled to find an explanation for what I have
observed that turns my thinking on its head with some new insight.
If you are experiencing trouble you believe is related to mind
parasites, or otherwise have some information or ideas please
feel free to contact me. If you feel under attack I recommend a
100% live foods diet (go to
rawfood.com or read
Conscious Eating by Gabriel
Cousins) and elimination of all stimulants, intoxicants and
outsize portions. Shift your metabolism and the feeding will stop. I
also recommend using the techniques for dealing with negative
thoughts and emotions described in
Part III of my
Guide to the Perplexed Interdimensional
Traveler.
Check back as this
document will be updated as I learn more about this phenomenon. For
more discussion of mind parasites and the dynamic evolutionary
context in which they are happening go to Jonathan Zap’s Pavilion.
You’ll find much relevant material, especially when a document
entitled “White Crows Rising…” is added, hopefully rather
soon.
We’ve been working a great deal from the left side of our brains in
this discussion and that may be too confining when dealing with a
vast and nebulous terrain. The last thing I will leave you with is
not more theory, but a vision of the mind parasites that
happened to me and that can be found in Shocking Anomalous
Experience parts IV and V. While these experiences are not
literally true in the way the case histories presented here most
definitely are, the Shocking Anomalous Experience narrative presents
true events and perceptions as seen through the second attention.
A confirmation that what
I envisioned was not just a quirk of my imagination is in the
animated Matrix sequel, Animatrix (infinitely superior to the
godawful, mind parasited, hollowed out Matrix Regurgitated or
whatever it was called). In Animatrix we see an expanding
parasitic lattice almost identical in form to what I envisioned.
I’ll step aside to let you experience that for your self. Feed back
is always welcome. Yours in symbiosis, Jonathan
"I brought you here
to see life forms that coinhabit your realm, that feed in your
realm, yet they are hidden and unknown to most of your kind." I
knew what he was referring to, but had to ask, had to have it
spelled out.
"Do you mean the mind parasites?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I mean. You have done well compared to
most of your kind, in becoming aware of them, and seeking to be
vigilant about them. Your will to be vigilant about them is part
of what brings us together here right now. You and your kind
need to see what feeds upon you, you need to behold the feeders,
to bring that which manipulates you and harvests you out of the
shadows and into the light of awareness."
The implications of his
words were chilling, but not unknown to me. Still, he was silent for
a few moment, giving me time to absorb the impact of his words which
were a powerful confirmation of a dark possibility I had long been
aware of…. (large passage deleted) And then Raven asked very gently,
but owning the seriousness of the moment,
"Are you willing to
look at the feeders?" And suddenly I wasn't so sure if I was
willing. I sensed the edge of the abyss, but I knew my life only
allowed for one possible answer and I willed myself to say,
"Yes."
"Then look down." said Raven.
I looked down and saw
that which unraveled me for several long heartbeats before I was
willing to let what my eyes scanned enter my mind. Attached to my
body, coming from my body, through my body, was a broken lattice of
dark filaments, undulating filaments like a broken spider web spun
of black spider silk moving, undulating chaotically.
And I knew that each of
the filaments was a kind of nerve cell, shadowy black neurons with
infinitely complex dendrites and interconnections with other threads
of tissue. I must call it tissue because it was alive and
intelligent and.... parasitic, virulently parasitic, a vampiric
web, only the web was the vampire, and it was highly aware of me
for I was its food source, its host, and it continually reconfigured
itself to create networks, new interconnections to draw off more
vital energy, and I felt the blackness of this shadow web, dendrites
and axons of flat black spider silk moving and undulating, and also
pulsating, but it was a weirdly horrifying inverse arterial pulsing,
and suddenly I comprehended the horror of its pulsing rhythm, it was
the antiheart beat of my heart beat.
This pulsating lattice
of tissue was a capillary suction pump, it beat in perfect counter
rhythm to my heart beat because when my heart pumped blood out it
sucked in, not blood but vital energy and for a moment it was not
clear if I was merely tissue, an organ inside of its body, or if it
was a parasitic tissue that surrounded my body. Something about the
light absorbing flat blackness of the filaments made them tendrils
of energy suction and also rendered them invisible to ordinary human
eyesight.
At certain nodes of the
web, a nexus of dendrites formed a densely entangled concavity, a
bulbous thicket of black nerve tissue and inside these were pale
worm-like parasites, and these worms had the pale, silvery
luminosity of a hungry moon, a sterile moon whose only light was
reflected from a host energy source on which it drew. These moon
worms were part of a delicately counterbalanced parasitic ecosystem,
an ecosystem for which I was now the sole food source.
The equilibrium of this ecosystem had been shocked, even shattered
by my displacement to this green realm and the web of parasitic
life undulated in a highly agitated, chaotic state. It was a
broken lattice, its outer edges were loose filaments, spindly
neurons whose outer dendrites had been yanked off so that only loose
dismembered axons, undulated in amputated torment seeking to be
reconnected, reconnected to the larger web, the planetary matrix of
tissue which they had been so densely interconnected to before I
entered the portal. I had displaced to a green realm, a realm not
infected with this vast network of parasitic tissue, so all that I
saw was the broken remnant of the web that had closely surrounded my
body and somehow survived crossing over.
This was but the
smallest part of the mind parasite matrix that had always
harvested my energy, its perpetual suction a hidden, insidious
taxation of my every pulse of life energy, but now it lay before me
shocked and vulnerable and I almost felt pity for it. It was torn
asunder from its planetary matrix and unsure of itself, chaotically
trying to reconfigure itself to cocoon around me perhaps, tightening
its embrace of the host to conserve its one remaining energy source.
My mind almost unraveled as I gazed at this alien life form,
for I was seeing that which it is not permitted to see, and it was a
singularity, like the time when I was ten and mauled by a dog and I
saw muscle tissue, purple and pink veined, the inside of my body on
the outside, and perception came in time-slowing shock waves.
Then my visual perception blurred for a moment as color erupted and
it took a moment to realize these were Raven's hands moving with
blurred speed, and his hands projected flames or jets of
multi-colored energy. So fast they moved and with surgical
precision, and I knew exactly what they were doing, they were
freeing me, filament by filament, from the matrix and the feeling
was ecstatic, euphoric, as a billion hungry little mouths were
removed from my skin, a billion points of constriction and fear that
I had no idea even existed, because I had never before been freed
from their insidious suction.
I felt my energy field blossoming, my awareness, my being was
spinning outward, dancing and singing into the mesa, a glorious
emergence as parasitic cobwebs vanished into the high desert night.
My spirit celebrated, rejoiced but I felt I could not go fully into
the celebration, I had to seek the forbidden knowledge because the
hungry web still thrived on my earth, the predatory realm that I
inhabited with six billion of my brothers and sisters.
I saw so many of them
there going about their day their gaze downward, many with spirits
broken, for above them was a dark coagulated sky, a planetary
vampiric matrix above their heads, above them on the food chain, and
their suffering spirits were like nodes of nourishing energy inside
this dark brain, a network of parasitic intelligence inserting its
mind into all of us, harvesting from us a rich diet of fear, pain,
hatred, jealousy, addictive passions, lethargic indulgences. And we
have been the deceived host of this metaparasite since at
least the dawn of history.
We need to break loose
from this devouring cocoon, but to do so, we need the clarity of the
Vehrillion Sapphire Elemental to cast light on the vast,
shadowy mind, the planetary matrix of hungry black tissue. And this
was why Raven had sent the portal, he had removed me to a
pure, uninfected realm so that I could see the vastness of the
infection and be a witness to my kind. And now a terrible vision
flickered into my mind. I saw the gleaming Twin Towers and I
knew this was early on the morning of September 11.
The Twin Towers
were still perfectly intact, but surrounding them, massing and
swarming around them were pulsating masses of dendrites, entangled
concavities of hungry nerve tissue and I knew that the matrix had
sent great masses of suctioning tissue to this particular place and
time because it knew what was coming, a great, exploding feast of
dark energy, a feast of terror about to erupt and I saw dendrites,
insidious tendrils of its will perfectly interfaced into the puppet
brains of the terrorists so that the matrix actually looked out at
the gleaming towers through the eyes of the terrorist pilots, but
with its will and ravenous hunger, and it craved with sexual frenzy
to rupture those towers, to pop them, to tear into them like a
starving, rabid dog tearing into hives full of golden honey, only
here the honey was fear, and blood, blood vaporizing in the fiery
combustion of exploding jet fuel and as the towers collapsed there
was a frenzy of feeding, an imploding vampiric orgasm suctioning
blood and terror that pulsated the whole planetary matrix in waves
of multiple orgasm.
My whole being trembled as I beheld the Godhead of evil, the
face of the archparasitie, the Medusa whose hair of snakes
was some early vision of these neurons and dendrites of pulsating
evil, but mercifully, I was also seeing this event through Raven's
mind and I saw that the matrix was actually being caught in its
ravenous greed, in its need for vampiric orgasm, and was revealing
itself, revealing the web of evil so that the host was being
awakened to its peril, an awakening immunological adaptation was
gaining power and the dark matrix itself was imperiled.
A deadly battle was ensuing, the hungry mind of the matrix
asserting its dominance over the host, its right to draw blood, its
right to feasting explosions, vampiric orgasms of mass terror, but
the host was awakening, individual nodes of consciousness achieving
glimpses of the shadowy network. And when I had these realizations,
a matter of heartbeats, Raven pulled back the veil, the terrible
visions dissolved and it was just us standing in the silent mesa.
I took in some deep breaths, feeling the stillness, the peace of
the mesa, so removed from the boiling strife, the virulent,
predatory infection of my home world.
"We have given you
this vision and the orb of Vehrillion Sapphire Elemental
so that you may share these gifts with our kind, share them
through the web of thinking machines you have so recently
manifested. The sleepers must awaken and see the feeding web,
they must find the mind within themselves that is stronger than
the web mind, the mind of freedom, of energy, of
love."
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